The vulva is the outside part of the vagina. They can look very different from one person to another. The inner and outer labia (lips) can be larger or smaller, lighter or darker, and uneven in size. Some are more visible than others. All of this is normal and no one way is ‘better’ than another.

Porn often shows a very narrow version of what genitals look like. Social media and advertising can also influence ideas about how bodies are ‘meant’ to look. This can make normal differences seem unusual or ‘wrong’. In real life most people don’t look like what’s shown on screen.

How a vulva looks doesn’t determine cleanliness, attractiveness, sexual pleasure or health. If yours looks different from someone else’s, that doesn’t mean there’s a problem. However, if you are worried about changes in your vulva, get checked at the sexual health service or by your GP.

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Penis size varies a lot, and many people worry about it at some point. It’s important to know that there is a wide range of ‘normal’, and what’s shown in porn is often not typical.

Studies show that the average erect (hard) penis length is around 13–14 cm (about 5–5.5 inches). Most erect penises are somewhere between 10–18 cm (about 4–7 inches). Remember – the sizes listed here are just averages, not targets. 

When flaccid (soft), penis size varies even more. The size of a penis when soft isn’t related to how big it gets when hard. 

Porn often shows much larger penises because performers are chosen to look a certain way. This can make normal bodies seem ‘too small’ by comparison, even when they aren’t.

Penis size doesn’t determine sexual pleasure, or how good someone is as a partner. It doesn’t need to affect your confidence at all. Communication, comfort, and connection all matter far more than size.

If you are worried about changes in your penis – for any reason – you can get  checked out at the sexual health service or by your GP.

Access the sexual health service

Breasts, tits, chests, boobs, knockers – whatever you call them, they’re all different! They can be large or small, firm or soft, and they often aren’t exactly the same size on both sides. It’s very common for one breast to be bigger or shaped differently than the other.

Nipples and areolas – the darker area around the nipple – also vary in size, colour and shape. Nipples can point outwards, lie flat or turn inwards, and areolas can be lighter or darker depending on skin tone. They can also change throughout your life, particularly during pregnancy. All of these differences are normal.

Boobs can change over time too. Weight changes, hormones, age, and life experiences can all affect how they look and feel. These changes don’t mean something is ‘wrong’. 

Breast cancer is very rare in people under the age of 30. However, if you are worried about a change in your breasts – such as lumps, nipple discharge, or changes to your nipples or skin – get checked out at your GP. 

Breast cancer can affect boys and men too. If in doubt, get checked out. 

More info on breast cancer

Testicles (balls) can differ in size, shape and position. It’s very common for one to hang lower than the other. This is normal and helps with temperature regulation.

Testicles can feel different from person to person. Some are firmer, some softer, and they can change a bit depending on temperature, arousal or relaxation. This doesn’t usually mean anything is wrong.

Hair growth on the scrotum (the skin that holds the testicles) varies too. Some people have more hair, some less, and grooming is a personal choice.

If you notice sudden changes, pain, swelling, or something that doesn’t feel right, it’s a good idea to get it checked with your GP or sexual health clinic. Most changes are harmless, but it’s best to ask for reassurance. If in doubt, get checked out.

Body hair patterns differ from person to person. Some people have more hair, some have less, and some have none. Hair can grow in different places, at different speeds, and it can change over time. 

There is no rule about what body hair should look like. Choosing to shave, trim, remove hair or leave it to grow is a personal choice. Some people groom for comfort, style or cultural reasons, and others don’t. None of these choices are ‘better’ or more ‘correct’ than the others.

Pressure around body hair often comes from what we see online, in porn, or in advertising. Bodies are usually shown as hairless or very groomed. This can make it seem like having body hair is ‘wrong’ or unattractive, even though that isn’t true.

Having body hair doesn’t mean you’re unclean, unattractive, or doing something wrong. What matters most is how comfortable you feel in your own body.

A lot of people struggle with body confidence at some point in their lives. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. Body confidence isn’t something you either have or don’t. The way that you feel about your body can change from year to year and even day to day. 

It is easy for us to compare ourselves to the bodies we see in TV shows, on social media and in porn. This can mean we hold ourselves up to unrealistic beauty standards. This applies to both women and men. 

Even when you know that images are edited and staged, they can still affect how you feel about yourself. 

Body confidence isn’t about looking a certain way. Everyone can feel confident sometimes and insecure at other times. It’s okay not to love your body every day. What matters most is treating your body with care and respect.

If you’re struggling with body confidence, small changes can make a big difference:

• Try to spend less time comparing yourself to others. 
• Remember that social media and porn don’t reflect real life. 
• Look after your body by eating healthy, sleeping well and staying active. 

All of these tips can help you feel good and more confident in your own skin. 

If you think that the way you feel about your body affects your general mood or confidence, then you may want to talk to someone about it. Talking to someone is an important step in taking care of yourself. 

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