Consent, in its simplest form, means agreeing to something. When it comes to sex, consent is where everyone involved is able to choose what they want to do.

In the UK, the legal definition of consent means that a person:

• Agrees by choice
• Has the freedom to make that choice
• Has the capacity to make that choice

Having freedom means no pressure, no guilt, no fear and no force. Having capacity means you know what’s happening and can choose for yourself. Someone does not have capacity when:

• They are unconscious 
• They are asleep
• They are drunk or high on drugs
• They have a learning disability or a mental health condition that means they cannot understand what they are agreeing to at that time.

When it comes to sex, consent means that everyone should feel safe and comfortable to say what they do and don’t want. Everyone has the right to say yes or no to sex or any sexual activity. 

You can change your mind at any time.  Even if you have done something before, that does not mean you have to do it again. Consent should never be assumed, and it should never be taken away from someone.

If someone seems unsure, quiet, not responding, or uncomfortable, that’s a sign to pause and check in. If you are ever unsure if someone is consenting or not, you should stop what you are doing.

Consent doesn’t have to be awkward or formal. It can be shown through clear communication, like saying what you like and don’t like. You can also check in with the other person to make sure they are enjoying themselves.

People might express consent by saying things like “I like that” or “that feels good.” This shows they are taking part and feel comfortable with what is happening. 

You can also ask for consent by saying things like, “Is this okay?”, “Do you like this?”, “Do you want to keep going?, “Do you want to try something else?” 

Checking in with your partner shows that you care, you’re confident and that you respect them. It can actually help you feel closer to your partner and make sex feel safer and more enjoyable.

Consent should be clear and enthusiastic. When it comes to consent, don’t guess. Make sure everyone involved wants what’s happening.

Consent is essential for any sexual activity, including kissing, touching and cuddling. It doesn’t matter if you’ve just met, or if you’ve been together for years, you always need to make sure there is consent.

Agreeing to one thing doesn’t mean agreeing to everything. Consent can be withdrawn at any time and someone can change their mind, even in the middle of something. Giving consent in the past does not mean consent in the present or future.

Without consent, sexual activity is illegal.

If someone agrees to sex with a condom and it is removed or not used without their consent, this is illegal. This is known as “stealthing” and is a form of sexual assault or rape. It is also sexual assault to damage or tamper with a condom without the other person knowing.

Consent also applies to taking, sending or sharing sexual images. You should never take or share photos or videos of someone without their permission. Read more information about sharing images on our Porn IRL page.