People use the word sex to mean different things. It can include things like touching, oral sex or penetrative sex.

Not everyone defines sex in the same way. You don’t have to do everything, and you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. You can take things slowly and go at your own pace.

First things first, make sure you both consent. Getting consent is really important, no one should ever feel like they have to have sex when they don’t want to. Saying yes to one thing doesn’t mean saying yes to everything. It is okay to change your mind at any point. If you do change your mind or don’t want to continue, tell your partner, say no or stop. Read more about giving and receiving consent here.

It’s normal to feel nervous, but you should also feel excited. You should want to have sex, if you don’t, or you’re not sure, then it probably means it’s not the right time for you. You might feel pressure to have sex because your friends are, but only do it if it feels right for you.

Communication is the key to having good sex. Make sure you talk to the person you’re going to have sex with. Talk about how far you want to go, what you’re comfortable with and what your boundaries are.

Safer sex is about looking after yourself and the people you have sex with. It helps reduce the risk of STIs and unplanned pregnancy. It is a totally normal part of healthy sexual relationships.

Using condoms is one of the most effective ways to have safer sex. Condoms can be used during vaginal, anal and oral sex. They’re the only method that protects against both STIs as well as pregnancy. However, condoms need to be used correctly to ensure you protect yourself well.

Talking about protection might feel awkward, but it’s completely normal and important. Having these conversations shows care and respect, not mistrust. If someone doesn’t want to use protection, you don’t have to continue.

Ideally, you should talk to your partner about sex and protection before you get into the heat of the moment. You can check if you both feel ready and be clear about what protection you expect to use and make sure you both agree. It’s also a good time to talk about how far you both want to go, your boundaries and what you’re both comfortable with.

Take your time, there’s no rush. If you’re feeling very nervous, it can help to slow things down. Being relaxed and feeling safe makes a big difference to how sex feels.

You don’t have to rush. Taking time to kiss, touch and check in with each other can help you feel more comfortable.

It’s also normal for bodies not to respond exactly how you expect. Some people may find it difficult to get or keep an erection. Others might experience vaginal dryness. This can happen at any age and isn’t necessarily a sign that someone isn’t turned on. Nerves, pressure, hormones or certain medications can all affect how your body responds.

Using lube (lubricant) can help reduce friction, make sex more comfortable and enhance pleasure. Lube can also reduce the risk of condoms breaking by lowering friction. Water-based or silicone-based lubricants are safe to use with condoms. You can get free condoms and water-based lube through the C-Card scheme.

Anal sex can carry a higher risk of STIs than some other types of sex. The anus doesn’t make its own lubrication, so using lube is important to make things more comfortable. Using condoms and plenty of lube helps reduce the risk of discomfort and condom breakage. You should only use water-based or silicone-based lube. Oil-based lube can damage condoms.

Sex shouldn’t be painful. Some new sensations can feel intense at first, but if something hurts, that’s a sign to slow down, use more lube or stop. Keep checking in with each other. Simple questions like “Is this okay?” or “How does this feel?” can help you both feel more comfortable and safer.

Sex in real life rarely looks like it does in films or online. It isn’t perfectly timed or choreographed, and it doesn’t need to be.

There may be awkward pauses, unexpected moments, or things that don’t go exactly as planned. That’s normal. Talking and checking in as you go can make a big difference.

You might feel lots of different emotions after having sex for the first time. You might feel happy, closer to your partner, relieved, unsure, emotional or even a bit flat. All of these reactions are normal.

Feeling confused or regretful doesn’t always mean something was wrong. It can take time to process new experiences. However, if something didn’t feel right or you felt pressured, it’s important to talk to someone you trust.